i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
