when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
