Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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