There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize