I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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