no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
