So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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