I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
