Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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