Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
