I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
