And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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