He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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