but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He shit in the fireplace
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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