Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
