Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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