If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
