I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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