Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
