brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
