yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
