I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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