he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
