Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize