I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
