Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
