love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
