you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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