Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
