i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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