I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
