And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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