try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
