Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.