2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?