The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.