I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
