I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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