I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
