Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
