is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
foreskin is a definite game changer
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
