I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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