i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
