i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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