Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
and you fell through a lawn chair
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
