You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
