he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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