Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
