i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize