I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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