I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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