i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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