i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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