I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
