he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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