all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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