like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
