Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
