i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
