My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
