how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
