She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
