talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
