I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
